I miss you
by lilredd3394
Summary: Matthew is diagnosed with Cancer... be with Alfred as he remembers from the beginning, to the end, and beyond... Rated M to be safe, based off of a memory. FAIL SUMMARY! No pairing


_Alfred ran home, his brother had a doctors appointment for pain he had been having in his stomach area. "Dad! Papa! Mattie! I'm home" he called as he ran through the front door _

_"Alfred"_

_Alfred felt his stomach drop at the tone his father was using "What's wrong?" he asked looking between his family_

_"Alfred" Arthur said gently "You might want to sit down"_

_Alfred gulped and sat down next to his brother, who looked even weaker then before "What's wrong with Mattie?" he asked in a soft voice as he looked back at his parents_

_"Your brother has cancer, Alfred" Francis said calmly, even through the sadness that was etched into his once happy blue eyes "It's terminal"_

_"Wh-What?" Alfred said his own blue eyes widening as he looked at his brother, tears were starting to fill his own eyes "H-How long?"_

_"about a year" Arthur said standing up "You need to help us keep this place sanitary, I will make his condition worse if he gets sick"_

_Alfred nodded and hugged his brother tightly "Mattie" he whispered as his brothers arms wrapped around him "Don't die, please, don't die"_

_"I'm not dying, Al" Matthew said weakly as he smiled "I still have a while yet"_

That was how I found out, now here I am, sitting by his bedside…. Only five months after he was diagnosed in March… he was dying. I looked at his face, it was sunken in and felt like candle wax that had been put into the freezer. His hair, those once beautiful blond curls, were limp and thin having fallen out through the chemo he had been on for about a month. My brother, he looked so weak, so broken. He couldn't do anything; the doctors had said that his lungs were filling with puss, making it difficult for him to breath. His once lively violet eyes were sunken in and faded…. I was sitting on the windowsill as a man came in to read sections from the bible over my brothers dying body… That was when I started crying, I couldn't help it. Over those few months I had been telling myself that it was just a dream that my brother wasn't dying… but not, I had to face the facts….

It wasn't until later, when I had returned home with my father. The Brit having already fallen asleep on the couch as I sat by my computer playing random computer games…. I was playing a game called 'this is the only level' when the phone started ringing. I looked over and answered it "Hello?"

"Alfred, its Francis…" a pause "Matthew has passed away"

My mind had frozen, it had finally happened. My brother was gone

"Put Arthur on the phone please"

I nodded, even though he couldn't see me. I knelt down and shook my fathers shoulder "Dad" I said as his eyes opened "It's Papa"

I looked down into my brothers white casket. His stuffed bear, KumaJirou, was laying to the left of his head while a picture frame of our family was to the right. They had put a wig on him, once that looked as close as possible to what his hair used to look like. I swallowed past the lump in my throat "Hey, Bro" I said weakly as tears rolled down my face "I guess this is good-bye, I'm sorry for everything I've done wrong" I paused to take a shaky breath "I just wanted to let you know that I loved you, and that you were the best brother I could have ever hoped for" I stepped back into my parents arms as I started sobbing, I couldn't help it. I didn't think I would have lost my brother that soon, he was only nineteen…

It's been almost a year and a half since then, and I'm still in therapy for depression. I guess that won't change but still….. I miss you Mattie….

* * *

><p><strong>This story is based off of my own expirence with a few changes in what happened and what hasn't happened yet, and the victim. I'm not going into details about my life, but I needed something to write about, and I had been meaning to write about this memory for as long as I can remember. Dates are accurate... I am Alfred in this story...so...yeah... I don't need people's pity or people saying I'm sorry. I did this to help me with my feelings and such<strong>


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